Tuesday, July 23, 2013
When you were in the womb you moved almost constantly. I would say it was as if in the busyness of our world, you wanted to make sure we knew you were there. Then, on July 5th, 2012, not a day early or late, you entered the world with speed, force, and determination. You have been declaring your place in this family ever since.
You are intense and demanding. In the hospital the nurses warned us we would have our hands full with you. I blew them off. Well, they were right! And for however many months after I even literally had my hands full with you-swaddled and in my arms day and night. Your passion and intensity is seen whether you are happy, sad, mad, frustrated, excited, and so on. Bottom line, when you are happy you are HAPPY, and when you are not you are NOT!
Yet, somehow aside from all this you are incredibly sweet, and tender, and sensitive. You are extremely affectionate. You love to cuddle and will frequently stop what you are doing to come to me for a hug. Makes my heart swell.
As my second child, I have often feared I am not enough. With two little ones to care for, I am needed all day (and sometimes night). I simply cannot meet all of your needs, or at least not at the exact moment or in the exact way that you would like me to. On top of that I have longed for you to move on to the next stage...and the next, and the next, and the next! I have "needed" you to sleep through the night, stop nursing, eat whole food, crawl, walk, and so on. Celebrating this first year of your life feels like for me a celebration of my survival. I made it! Now please someone just let me lie down on the couch for a minute to catch breath!
Aside from all of the beautiful chaos that has been this past year, I want you to know you make me come alive in a way that only you could. You are precious and unique and my love for you is purely unconditional. You make me smile and laugh out loud every day. In fact, you make this whole house laugh daily. You are sort of the life of the party around here. I am better because of you. I thank God for the privilege it is to be the one you need so much in these early years. And though each stage you advance to provides a little relief for me, I know it is one more teeny step in independence and in you ultimately learning to leave home. So, I cling to you...in the peace and in the chaos. Happy 1st Birthday, Baby Eden.
I love you,